Hit Shelves On 10/19
By Sherman N. Peabody
Stepford, KS- In a move that analysts call an attempt to, '..steal the spotlight...' from KenroboTech's much-anticipated Obama-bot 2.0, HonkyTronics President and CEO Larry Honky today announced the early release of the CrackerBot 2.1 line, nicknamed Mr. & Mrs. Tea.
"We just couldn't make real Americans wait any longer," said Honky, "There's too much at stake."
The CrackerBot line- so dubbed for the reboot feature that causes the lifelike androids to relocate to the nearest Cracker Barrel restaurant when confronted with logic- debuted to less-than-stellar reviews but booming sales in March, 2009, has seen the version 2.0 breaking down repeatedly since its debut.
"We really didn't foresee the peccadilloes inherent in the 2.0 Candidates line," said Honky. "Witchcraft, Nazi re-creation, Aqua Buddha...These were all due to the weak CPU of the 2.0. We think we've fixed that problem."
At this, Mr. Honky unveiled the new and improved CPU that powers CrackerBot 2.1. "
See," said Honky, "an extra gerbil on the wheel. Mr. and Mrs. Tea retain all of the features of 2.0, such as the crazy eyes and the stock phrases- including 'Show me the birth certificate!', 'Keep the government's hands off of my Medicare!', 'Saul Alinsky!', and everyone's favorite, 'I'm not a racist. Some of my best friends are black.'- and as an added feature, you can plug Mr. and Mrs. Tea into the cable box and have them actually learn new stock phrases from Fox News! And we guarantee there will be no glitches for four years."
Honky added that there has also been an upgrade to the drives that control the motor functions- from a Briggs & Stratton 2-cycle engine to a B&S 4-cycle- which will add more reality to the 'frothing mouth' function in the CrackerBot 2.1.
All Mr. Teas that are pre-ordered will come with a free tri-cornered hat, all pre-ordered Mrs. Teas will come with a free 13-starred American flag.
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